“When I’m With You”
It started out small
I almost missed it, dismissed it
As nothing,
Nothing at allBut at the back of my mind
Something bugged me, it tugged me
Said something,
Something’s not rightI made a promise that I’d listen
To every honest premonition
And there’s something
That doesn’t ring true
When I’m with you.I hoped so much
For sincerity, for you to share with me
Some secret,
Some piece of you I could trust
I wanted so bad
To return that favor, but you never savored
The piece of me
I let you haveI don’t know if you knew
How much I yearned, to receive in return
An equal share
Of all I spared for youI made a pledge that I’d heed
Every red flag I perceived
And there’s something that doesn’t ring true
When I’m with youI set high expectations
I respect myself to never let them fall
But love is built on effort, with trust as a foundation
If you can’t bring that, we’re nothing, nothing at all
‘Cause I promised, I swore
That I’d never ignore
When something doesn’t ring true
And something just doesn’t ring true
When I’m with you
© June, 2025 Austin Kaufmann, All rights reserved.
The Origin Story
In 2023, I was chatting with a friend who is also a singer-songwriter, and I was complaining about how my being happily married and in a stable, loving relationship didn’t tend to generate great fodder for love songs.
Don’t get me wrong! A happy marriage is a fantastic kind of “problem” to have, and last month while on an incredible two-week road trip to Yellowstone and back with the kids, Victoria and I celebrated our 24th anniversary.
It’s just, I told my friend, that so many “love songs” tend to feature unrequited love or the fevered passion of fleeting encounters. By contrast, the mundane parts of healthy relationships — communicating, compromising, scheduling, the transactions of parenting — often don’t make for compelling love songs.
My friend simply said, “Then write someone else’s love song.”
Someone Else’s Love Songs
In retrospect, I think there was probably a well-intended, unspoken “you idiot!” tagged to the end of that bit of advice, because — duh! — it really is that simple.
I mean, that’s the beauty of writing fiction or being a songwriter, right? We can write any reality, take on any persona, assume any point of view we choose. My storytelling voice is is not limited to my own.
I mean, if John Prine, in “Angel from Montgomery,” can come right out of the gate singing, “I am an old woman, named after my mother,” then why can’t I write from other very different perspectives, too?
So that year, I did just that, composed a series of songs that I refer to as other people’s love songs. One of those, “Crossed a Line,” is one of my favorite songs that I’ve ever created. But I’ll share that song in another post.
Of course, once I started writing someone else’s love songs, it was inevitable that I’d eventually have to write someone else’s break-up songs, too.
Someone Else’s Break-up Songs
Last month (June of 2025), my daughter Anara and I decided to each give the other three song prompts, from which we had to select one to write a new song about. The song I wrote from the prompt she gave me turned out “kinda mid,” as she’d say. Not terrible, but nothing to write home about.
But, confession time, I actually ended up stealing back from Anara one of the three prompts I offered her. One of her discarded prompts is where “When I’m with You” began. At its heart, “When I’m with You” is not a angsty break-up song, just a frank “this isn’t healthy, so it’s time to end things” song.
And I think I like it! Or at least, I like most of it — though I’m not sure it’s completely finished. It’s still a “toddler tune,” to be sure, having just been written a few weeks ago. I love the verse lyrics with their intricate rhyme scheme. And I like the simple chords and melody, though I recognize I overuse that descending chord progression.
Fun fact: while I almost always compose on guitar, I actually wrote this song on ukulele, and the duet between the guitar and ukulele parts is just lovely, though obviously there’s no ukulele in this solo recording.
The Persona
Whose voice is it telling this story? Who is my protagonist?
I imagine them as someone with a strong sense of self, someone who knows who they are. Someone who sets healthy boundaries and high — but not unrealistic — expectations for their lover. Someone mature enough to end a relationship when they come to understand that their lover doesn’t reciprocate equally when it comes to putting forth effort and being vulnerable. Someone who promised that they’d “listen to every honest premonition” and “heed every red flag they perceived.”
Someone brave enough to follow through and end things when “something doesn’t ring true.”
Upcoming Shows
Saturday, July 26 @ 7:00PM
The Dangling Participles (Trio)
Ironbark Brewing Co., Jackson, MI
Thursday, July 31 @ 4:30PM
The Dangling Participles (Full Band)
Live Music Thursdays at Nelson, Downtown Lansing, MI
Friday, August 15 @ 10:00AM
Anara Pearl & Austin Kaufmann
Petoskey Farmer’s Market, Petoskey, MI
Friday, August 15 @ 7:30PM
The Dangling Participles (Duo)
The Rhubarbary House Concert Series, Harbor Springs, MI
Saturday, August 16 @ 10:00AM
The Dangling Participles (Duo)
Boyne City Farmers Market, Boyne City, MI
Sunday, August 24 @ 6:00PM
The Dangling Participles (Duo) w/ Andy Baker
Howl at the Moon Concert Series, Gobles, MI
Connect
Personal
- Instagram
The Dangling Participles
- Official Website
- Spotify
- Facebook
- Instagram
- Bandcamp
- YouTube
